Yesterday I discussed Snapchat's latest update and how Snapchat has ignited friendship wars in the past. Everyone wants to be their best friend's top Snapchat user - or maybe that's just me. But relationships have ended over this sort of thing.
Thankfully, I'm single, so that's never happened to me. And Snapchat is just an inane app for sending selfies, so why do I care who my friends' top Snappers are - as long as I'm in the top spot? That's right, folks: Ever since discovering Snapchat in January 2013, I have managed to maintain a monopoly over many of my friend's top spot. It wasn't hard; all I had to do was Snapchat pictures whenever I bought iced coffee, battled through grad school projects late at night, or heard a great song on the radio. I don't worry about my friends' top spot because I know I have dominion.
Until someone decided to challenge me.
My college roommate lives in Florida. One of her Floridian friends is named Bhavisha, and Bhavisha happened to be in second place for my roommate's top spot. You think she would know to give up. Instead, Bhavisha made a play for the crown. Unfortunately, when she did so, I was in the middle of finals and unable to Snapchat my roommate with my characteristic consistency and vigor. Bhavisha made it into the top spot; she usurped me.
She would not last.
A blitzkrieg of Snapchats descended onto my roommate, all from me. If I bombarded her enough, I knew I could overtake Bhavisha. I directed the Snaps directly to Bhavisha. I knew my roommate would relay that her neck was on the guillotine.
I also could actually see Bhavisha. At least her ugly serif font name above my own in my roommate's top Snapchat friends.
As I predicted, Bhavisha fell fast and gloriously. I dropkicked her back to second place.
Soon the competition fell to the wayside when Snapchat did away with best friends. Abruptly, friends could no longer see who was in each other's top three spots.
But I knew I should remain vigilant. It is not enough to sit on the throne; you must conquer the surrounding land. I continued to defend my top spot territory.
And, of course, I was right, which brings us to Monday's app update. While I can't see a list of my roommate's best friends, I can see, by emoji code, that I send the most Snapchats to my roommate and we have a 26 day strong Snapchat streak - that is, we have snapped 27 days in a row.
Bhavisha foolishly thinks this new Snapchat update will let her depose of me again, or so she let me know through Facebook. So how many days has Bhavisha snapped my roommate in a row? A measly 20 days. She ain't got nothing on me.