Depending on class schedules and work obligations, I have visited the gym at many different hours. Each hour brings a different breed of person.
Before 6:30 AM. You are addicted, and you don't appreciate sleep enough. You also are ignoring that your body needs recovery time, which requires sleep. Then again, you probably don't lift. You probably swim laps or watch the local weather from a treadmill. I would say you might dabble in sunrise yogas, but the sun isn't even up yet.
6:30 - 8 AM. You prioritize working out and want to get it out of the way, but you also like hitting snooze on your alarm. You may read the newspaper before you arrive at the gym. You definitely shower at the gym, then commute to the office. Your workday slump comes at 11 AM when adrenaline wears off, so you just stare at your emails until lunch. You may have a pal who works out with you.
8 - 10 AM. You are my spirit animal. We can't begin our day without sweating, but we also can't get out of bed when vampires still roam. We would get to the gym later, but we appreciate how empty it is during this period, and we fear the crowds. We do just about anything during this time period except yoga. That starts at 10.
10 AM - Lunch. You're either a soccer mom, or you have off work. You're taking it easy today. You definitely scrolled through your Twitter/Facebook/New York Times app. You may have even sent an email before you arrived. You do Pilates at least once a week, and you enjoy $10 an ounce kale smoothies.
Lunchtime. You eat protein bars. You may swim laps. You live fast-paced. I mean, you're fitting in a sweat session, shower, and commute back to the office in under an hour. You probably doze off during afternoon conference calls.
Afternoon. This is the crowd that balances between type A and B. You're probably unemployed or a student. Or you're a freelance writer who spent the morning in a coffee shop. You don't swim. You may take a cycle class taught by the otherwise stay-at-home parent spinning instructor.
4 - 6 PM. You definitely lift. You pack on the plates and grunt. You don't mind a small wait for a machine. You may or may not have a workout partner. You definitely drink a protein shake afterward.
Dinner. You overslept your workout this morning, or you just have to get in your cycle/yoga/Zumba/HIIT class. You're accompanied by a minimum two other bros or girlfriends. You will binge on unhealthy snack food while you wait for your dinner to microwave at 8 PM and will wonder why did you even go to the gym. You tell yourself tomorrow you'll wake up early, work out, and then you can go home during regular dinnertime and maybe meet someone for drinks and/or catch your favorite sitcom on TV instead of TiVo'ing it. But that's the endorphins lying to you.
7 - 9 PM. You are the B+ of the type B's. You're there more to socialize than sweat. Or to waste precious life while waiting for the squat rack. Oh, and there are three other people ahead of you. If you're a female, you're in neon. If you're a male, we can see your nipples.
9 PM - Close. Who are you? You're an insomniac (and have you considered your midnight workouts might be to blame?). Then again, shavasana is naptime bliss - but you're neglecting you have to wake up from corpse pose and drive home. You might practice witchcraft, all nighters are definitely part of your lifestyle, and you love alcohol, but you rarely "go out." You might Skype your long distance significant other around 2 AM.
So did I nail it? Is this you, or is this just the annoying people around you when you work out?