I'm Not Impressed With Your Netflix

Before you begin reading, please join me in setting the mood for this post and make sure this video is going as you read.  

Alright, now that we've got the mood song serenading us, I'd like to offer another dating faux paux that, by the sounds of it, Shania Twain didn't have to deal with (because I am SURE she would have added this into the lyrics of her song if she did). 

It's all the new rage in dating. Apparently all the guys will offer it. And I'm only assuming they offer it because girls agree to it.

Rather than offering to take me to dinner, drinks, coffee, a walk, a hike, a kayaking adventure, a theme park, a play, a concert, a sporting event, a museum, a beach or any of the seemingly endless other fun opportunities that this world has graced us with, guys these days like to seduce women with their Netflix account. 

You read that right: countless men try have tried to entice me with their whopping $8 investment in Netflix. I'd like to insert an independent statement like, I have my own Netflix account, but I don't. I just happen to have access to at least three accounts of other people. They're basically a dime a dozen. What I'm saying here really is: I don't need you for your Netflix password. Nor does it make you seem cool. And no, I don't want to come "cuddle and watch Netflix" with you the first time we hang out.  

Oh, you also have a bottle of wine? Stop the train, this is a deal maker. Oh, wait, it's not. Because I also have my own wine. Wine that I'll like. And when I'm in my house watching my Netflix, I'm watching what I want. And I'm not "cuddling" with a stranger.  

What has society come to where it's the norm for a guy to be in sweatpants and offering takeout and an evening on a smelly frat couch as a "first date." And yes -- I did follow through on a Netflix hangout sesh, who later referred to it as a date. Honey, it's not a date if we're sitting on opposite sides of the couch staring at a TV screen together. That's a hangout, and a lame one at that. 

Thank you to every man who has offered me a riveting evening of Netflix viewing, but I'll pass. I'd like to save those intimate "cuddle" opportunities for men who take me out, make me like them and earn the right to straight up chill with me without the frills. If you're putting in zero effort on day one, I don't have much/any hope for the future.  

I'll let the badass Shania have the last words on this one: 

That don't impress me much

You think you're cool but have you got the touch

Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright

But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold, lonely night

That don't impress me much