While Cazey is a regular gym member, I am really good at working out for about a month and then giving up for roughly the same amount of time. Just as my DietBet was beginning, Cazey and I were given the opportunity to trial Gold’s Gym Richmond, which could not have been better timing to help me beat my physical fitness goals.Read More
My friends know I ask inappropriate questions. I ask these questions in the most straightforward way possible and usually without ulterior motive. I am genuinely curious what people’s salaries are and how much is their rent and how old are their parents. I freely offer up my own answers to these very questions: I make $28,000/year, pay $550 in rent, and my mom would disinherit me if I shared her age.
Maybe it’s because I’m not trying to hoodwink anyone, but people generally me the truth. And I’m talking strangers disclose personal failures after one inquiry. I once helped my friend pick up a couch from a Craigslist seller. By the end of the interaction, I knew the seller’s hometown, graduation year, and why he and his girlfriend broke up (it was originally her couch).
However, asking these types of questions can sometimes get you into trouble or, at a minimum, leave the wrong impression.Read More
I recently had to plan a dinner for an important figurehead at my university. At the last minute some seats opened up so I asked my friend Liza to come. Liza and I have been close friends for several years.
My other friend, Peter, signed up weeks before and usually was at these sorts of functions anyway. Liza knew less of the people so she stuck by my side at the beginning of the dinner. When Peter arrived, I introduced them. Soon Liza spotted another acquaintance and slipped away to chat.Read More
Since 2005, I have committed a few faux pas on Facebook. I don’t think my sins will ever approach the gracelessness of a middle-aged mother on Facebook (that’s a jab at my own), but I am not some beacon of social media poise. I have accidentally poked, unintentionally shared, and once even tagged myself in a stranger’s profile picture. That last blunder may be most embarrassing moment – until last week.
I have known “Phil” for several years. We share the same friendship circle, see each other monthly, and have the rapport of managing elevator talk if we even communicate at all. However, by proximity, history, and mutual friends, I daresay we are more than acquaintances.Read More
For the last five years, I haven’t liked anyone. I used to not believe myself when I said that. I wondered if I was lying, had I forgotten someone, or was I repressing something. Then this past winter I met someone. I experienced a month of dates, snuggles, hand holding, and whispering secrets I don’t even share with best friends. The contrast in feelings proved to me I hadn’t been lying: I hadn’t liked anyone for half a decade.
And suddenly I did.
Due to a host of reasons, some inevitable and some that I will save for future blogpost rants, things ended. The fracture came abruptly. It took my breath away. We briefly rekindled what may be called a sequel or a spinoff, but like most sequels, it flopped.Read More
I have never stolen anything. Okay, I take that back, or else I wouldn’t be writing this post. I have never stolen anything intentionally.
In elementary school, I remember my mom took me to the Dollar Store, and I found some toy ball. Five minutes down the road later, I realize I’m still holding said ball and immediately shout, “I took the ball!” My mom insisted we return to the store and return the ball. At least she believed me that I hadn’t tried to steal it. Which was true. I hadn’t.Read More
Pull up a bar stool and order another round. We’re about to talk about one of those dating urban legends that we all know is true, but we hate to be reminded.
We all know about the one who got away - the mythical first or maybe second or third love that stole our breath and then our hearts before vanishing into the night, either by their own devices or by some hand-spun twist of life and destiny. You’re probably thinking of your own now - that beautiful creature who slipped away no matter how much you argued, chased, and fought. And that’s why you need another drink: you know it’s true.Read More
A few weeks ago, I had to drive home for a family dinner. My brother accompanied me. We hit the road late (I blame my brother), and it was only when in the driver’s seat that I realized my gas tank was a quarter full. Now I’m one of those people who seldom lets their gas dip below half, so I’m not sure how I reached this point. Nevertheless, I decided we could make our two-hour journey without filling up. Plus, while home, my parents planned to switch out my current car with a newer one, so it would be a waste of money to fill up the tank. I would save the most by riding close to empty.
The first 90 minutes of the ride passed without incident. We passed many gas stations without notice.Read More
This past winter, I met someone. For a month, it worked out, and then due to a host of inevitabilities that I'll save for future blogposts rants, things fractured. The day following our split, I went on Bumble out of spite. I wanted friends to report Cazey is back in the game (was he ever in the game?), he wasted no time, she meant nothing, he really is a Slytherin. I also wanted to keep up momentum – dating had been fun for an inexplicable moment. Maybe several moments.
“Juliet” was the second person I matched with. She was obviously attractive, tall, well educated, and prompt enough at replying. We also maintained conversation slightly above small talk, though we did regress to discussing central air conditioning by day six.Read More
Thursday night at a rooftop bar. All the usual suspects are out. There’s a couple of bros in pastel Polos, obviously prowling and aware of their hyper-masculine charm. A group of women with froses who maybe came from another happy hour and are here until someone takes them home or they Uber home to microwaved pizza. Another group of women who are presumed married – or at least seriously coupled off – and will be leaving as soon as their check arrives.
There’s the co-eds who are just as eager to hook up within their group as they are with anyone else on this rooftop. Then then there’s the Baby Boomers floating around, perhaps divorced, more likely here to enjoy youthful charm and whatever musician the venue has booked for the evening.Read More