As Told Over Brunch

View Original

Why I Should Stop Using Dating Apps: The Sequel

A few weeks ago, I discussed my first uncomfortable encounter stemming from using dating apps (too) casually. Here's a sequel - and better yet, it's a two-parter!

Part One:

While I don’t use these apps frequently (I bet you readers are beginning to doubt me), I matched with a girl who we’ll call Coco. I was never going to message Coco, but – and this is why I like OkCupid over all the other apps: Females toss the ball as much as the guys – Coco messaged me:

“Are you from [insert my hometown]? You look like someone I know lol”

Of course I don’t reply with an ellipsis. “Haha I am. What high school did you go to?”

She names my brother's high school and asks about myself.

Creeping suspicion over here. While my brother is five and a half years younger than me, we look strikingly similar. As in, I could post his photos as mine on Facebook. As in, the Chinese takeout lady always asks which one I am.

“I went to [names another high school]. My brother goes to your high school now,” I set the bait.

“Oh okay. What’s your brother’s name?”

And we're done here. I’m not giving out my social security number on OkCupid. I stop responding to Coco.

A few days later, I remember the conversation and decide to Facebook-investigate Coco since Coco actually uses her full name as her OkCupid username. Fool. Sure enough, my mutual friend with Coco is my brother.

Be right back. I need to scrub off in the shower. Ugh.

See this form in the original post