Previously I wrote about five friends I have on Facebook who I don't really know. In compiling that list, I realized there are more than five, so here are five more.
Ace: He is a recent friend, and he added me. He’s either the cousin or brother of my middle school crush’s best friend. I’m not sure why I accepted, but he seems harmless and aforementioned middle school’s crush best friend is in his profile picture. He now sits on my list of suggested friends to chat, which won’t be happening.
Dwayne: In high school my best friend and I went shopping at Macy’s because I needed a suit. Our salesman was only, you know, a decade older, so why not hit on my friend and tell us your pot stories and how well-connected your family is (meanwhile, you’re working in Macy’s…)? Maybe you’ll get me to buy the suit. Young and impressionable, my friend and I became Facebook friends with Dwayne. I think the add happened while we were standing together in the men’s section of Macy’s. He never did hook us up with pot.
Nate: The ex-boyfriend of my hall-mate freshman year. I always felt bad how she treated him.
Jessica: This is the ex-wife of my best friend’s cousin. I thought I was adding my friend’s sister who is named Justine (similar, right?). I’m not sure why she accepted the request since we've never met, but she’s provided quality entertainment. From afar, I've watched her become pregnant, get divorced, and then have that child who is not her ex-husband’s (while going through the divorce proceedings).
Gian: My roommate at a conference. He asked me whether his friend could visit the following night. Of course your friend can visit - and by visit, I mean the actual dictionary definition of visit, not you-can-add-the-adjective-conjugal-to-that. Once said friend arrived, he asked me to leave the room. I returned five hours later, she’s still there, but I think I’m safe to go to sleep. Oh no, they decide to do it again – five feet away from me. Have some decency, Gian.