For all my blogging on dating apps, my roommate made me promise that I would go on a date in 2015 via a dating app. (Though I think a date is a big enough promise. Anyone else agree?)
This got me thinking about my hang-ups regarding meeting someone in person off of Tinder/OkCupid/Farmers Only. I realize I have insecurities that I omit on my dating profile. So in the interest of self-disclosure, here they are:
My voice. This is my biggest hang-up. I sound like a prepubescent boy or, at my best, a nasally New Yorker (and is that anyone's best?). Occasionally I get asked if I'm British (bless you). But sometimes people call me "ma'am" on the phone. This is why I prefer texting. And this is also why I hate talking in front of new people. Sort of an issue when you're meeting someone for the first time.
I don't drink beer. Coffee date? Sure! Drinks? Ehh. I'm fully aware of this societal expectation where I am supposed to love the taste of watered down bread - but I don't. Long Island, vodka soda, cab sauv - gimme. Stout, porter, pale ale - blegh! It's fine if you like these things; just don't invite me to the brewery. I'll be up the road at the cidery.
I talk too fast. I actually do everything too fast - walk, type, eat, etc. But my vocal pace could lap Jupiter by the time you use the bathroom. My friends are used to this, but acquaintances often ask me to repeat myself. Or they just don't laugh at my jokes because they don't understand them. (At least this is what I tell myself.)
I suck at eye contact. I'm warning you so you don't just think I'm a shady, aloof liar. I once had a therapist friend tell me it's a sign of lying. I swear I'm not lying. *drops eyes*
I sweat. It's ironic because I consider sweat and hair the two most disgusting bodily materials, but I commit the former. (I prefer the theory that the more you exercise, the more you sweat.) And no, I don't smell! I'll usually arrive at a place/start a conversation and am fine, and then, a minute later, I'm menopausing. Probably because I'm thinking about all these hang-ups and also because I speed-walked here.
My cheeks will be red. Possibly correlated with the sweating or maybe my German heritage, I get beet red. I can never lie, get embarrassed, or be in the same room with my crush without my cheeks ratting me out. Hope is especially lost if I've been drinking.
My best friends are females. I do have guy friends, but I will probably ask a female to be my best maiden. (That is, if I get married, my pre-apologies to conventional expectations.) I have also only ever lived with females since undergrad. If this makes you uncomfortable, well, you should've swiped left.
I'm a former fat kid. I will probably order a salad because I actually enjoy the taste of spinach and grilled chicken. But I can ask for bleu cheese if it makes you feel less guilty about getting a cheeseburger and fries (though you shouldn't feel guilty; just share your fries).
You may end up on this blog. I don't set out to do this, but so far most all of my dating app interactions have been at least mentioned on this blog. It makes for good fodder!
I'm not sure where I want this to go. Fingers crossed, I graduate with a PhD in two years, and then I plan on leaving the states for a non-temporary period. That doesn't mean I'm not looking for something serious, but that means I don't want to be tied down when I leave (emotions count). So yeah, that means I'm not looking for something serious. Also, this blog seems to be a constant celebration of my singlehood, I question who I am if I was to actually date someone. What would my anthem be? You could call this self-defeating singledom.
So who wants to go on a first date after this confessional?