I forgot my phone at home this past Friday.
I'd like to say I didn't really stress about it, but that would be a damn lie. When I strolled into work and went to check my phone and realized it wasn’t in my purse or pockets, I considered driving twenty minutes plus traffic back to my house just to get it. That seemed sad and ridiculous.
Instead, I accepted defeat, resigned myself to a day without my phone and hopped on Facebook to let my mom know I wouldn't be calling her at lunch. Then I knew I needed to tell Cazey about how my mom said that this would make a good blog post, because that's something he would say. Always thinking, she is.
Then I Facebook messaged one friend, just so she knew I was out of pocket today. I was worried that my Friday night plans would not come to fruition without having my phone. It is definitely the worst day of the week to be phone-less after all.
Cazey said I could do that thing where you post a Facebook status about not having a phone, but that seems desperate, right? Like, "hey everyone, I'm so self-involved I think you must all care about this." But in the same breath, I want to say, "Guys, you do care about me enough that this is a big deal, right?"
After realizing that I wasn’t helplessly disconnected, I got to work. The morning wasn’t actually that bad…you know because I was working. But then came lunch.
Lunch was weird. My coworker Emily went to go get her food and I just sat there without anything to play with. I sort of just sat and stared, taking in my surroundings. I mentally noted that this must be what life felt like in the '80’s. And the '70’s. And so on. Finally Emily came back with her food.
Longest. Minute. Of. My. Life.
We got back to work, and I was really starting to feel abandoned. Did my mom miss me when I didn’t call her? Were people trying to make plans with me? Or worse, was no one texting me and I would go home to a phone with zero messages? Only time would tell.
Around 3:30, I really ran into a situation. I’m in charge of our work’s Instagram, and without my phone I had no way to post a 'gram for the day. I went to our network team to get the iPad, but it didn’t have an Apple account attached to it since our developers only used it for testing, so I couldn’t download Instagram.
My next move was a bit desperate. I wandered around for a bit, asking people if I could use their phone to post. It was a low moment for me and made me really miss my own phone.
Around four I was itching to get home to my baby. I actually felt like that dick who left their baby in the hot car. Like my poor phone, just helplessly sitting on my nightstand, utterly forgotten. How rude of me. He must be getting lonely.
4:30 rolls around and, boy, is it exciting to think about our reunion. My birth control alarm has now been going off for six hours. Thankfully it’s silent. But still, the heartbreak it must be feeling to be all alone right now, just blasting a reminder to an empty room.
I finish up at work and go home, almost giddy at the excitement to perch on the throne and go through my phone. As I sit down with it, I almost break a smile. I hate myself for feeling such a sense of safety with my phone. I really shouldn’t be this excited. But I am. Hence the entire blog post I wrote about my phone, on the Notes section of my phone.