Perhaps I’m a crier. I wouldn’t consider myself one, but there is a pretty extensive list of times I’ve cried.
From the slightly humorous tear triggers
- I used to cry every Saturday night when they would do the house reveal on Extreme Home Makeover.
- I cried on the phone with Merrill Edge because no one was helping me.
- When I worked at a theme park, I once cried in a glow shed because I was so frustrated.
- I cried on my lunch break at Jiffy Lube once. The reason I was crying? Because I got pulled over by a police officer… two days earlier.
- When Dumbledore died. And when Snape died. And then when I thought Harry Potter died.
- I once was really hungover and saw a cute puppy video and it made me cry.
- Pretty much any time I’ve ever cried drunk.
To the more valid cry-worthy events
- All three of our dogs dying (spaced out over a decade or two)
- My Grammy dying, and then subsequent times when I miss her
- My Granddad dying, and soon-to-cry at his columbarium ceremony
- Being homesick
- Pretty much anything that negatively affects my family
I cry when things stress me out, make me sad or cause me to remember things that will never happen again. Sometimes even just looking at someone else crying can make me cry. I just feel people’s emotions. And I feel my own emotions.
When we took a personality test at work, I was identified as the only "feeler" on the team. I soon found myself mumbling about all the worthy aspects of making decisions based on people’s feelings only to find myself up against a wall of opposition.
No one appreciates that I feel emotions.
And that’s really scary, honestly. Why do we as a society so strongly value suppressing emotions? From the time babies shoot into this world, we’re trying to stop them from crying and feeling. How many times have you heard parents tell their kids to “Stop crying,” or that “Big girls don’t cry.”
Now, I’m not advocating that we all walk around waterfalling tears all the time and refuse to listen to logic, but why are we all so strongly opposed to compassion, sympathy and empathy? Why are we so proud of people when they refuse to evaluate their emotions?
I don’t think our current President is a good role model in really any way – ever – but he’s proudly stated that he hasn’t cried since childhood.
But he’s not the only person who approaches crying with this bravado – this sense of shame about being passionate-to-tears about something. About loving something so fully it causes a physical reaction.
A person I know was once on a rant about how people shouldn’t be sad when people die, you know, since everyone dies. Then continued about how cancer isn’t something to be sad about because you can just expect a person to die from it.
I wish at that point I had a more cohesive reaction, but I was too busy composing myself, trying not to cry because of how insensitive it was. But I was also sad for this person, because how can you live in a world so dark and lonely that you have taught yourself to be so distant and detached that someone you (hypothetically) know has a significant life-threatening challenge and you think it’s appropriate to not feel anything?
But then again, society encourages people to “stop being a baby” and to “be a man,” so while this example might be an extreme view, it’s acceptable to society.
All I know is even if people are telling you to stop crying; I’m telling you it’s okay. It’s healthy. It’s human. And I appreciate you and your empathy and the passion you bring to this world.