I bought a house, yawn. It's all I talk about now. I talk about the housing market (the unit next door sold for $7 grand more than what I paid and I'd say it's comparable to mine), renovations I'd like to make (I want a washer/dryer in unit) and about things I'd like to buy for my house (I finally got that lemon rug I really wanted).
While my house was one of the most exciting purchases I've ever made, it also feels like an anchor that I just tied to my leg and jumped off a boat. Not in the perspective of drowning, but in the what if another boat comes by? I'm now stuck here. But I'm also not really stuck because I love Richmond. I want to be here. But sometimes it still feels like a commitment that is a little too permanent for comfort.
No longer can I just get up and go. But really, I don't want to go anywhere else. So why does it feel like I'm settling?
I've had really bad writer's block lately. I think there's a bit of correlation here, among other factors -- like my life getting super busy and now that I'm writing more at work, it feels more of a churn-and-burn than a passion -- but I think part of my writer's block is that everything feels settled. I'm paying a mortgage, I'm polishing my hardwood floors and I'm Googling star ratings on appliances. I'm like... old. I'm settled. What else can I write about?
Nothing feels as tumultuous as when I used to write almost everyday. Every day doesn't feel like I'm writing my own adventure story. I don't feel like I have to write for catharsis or write to reflect on anything. Everything just is.
When I started blogging, it was because everything was new. Everything was hard. I wrote about struggling, because trying to adult, but still eating like a college kid living in a dorm, was pretty much a joke. I was barely making money, my job was in flux and I really had no idea what I was doing with my life.
Truth be told, I still don't know what I'm doing, but life doesn't feel so crazy. I am still learning and growing, but it just feels different. It feels settled. Like this is my life now. And while life is great, it also feels secure. And secure is kind of a boring feeling sometimes.
But in reality, I know that I am not really settling. I'm building a life, and all the things I'm doing that feel boring and old are actually just a new adventure. But how can you really ensure that you're just establishing yourself and not losing your flame?
What's the difference between staying somewhere and just settling? How do you keep it interesting? I struggled with the calm for awhile, but I think I've got a few tricks to share, but I'll hold off on those for next week. :)
In the meantime, how do you ensure your life is a conscious choice to stay somewhere, rather than settling into a routine? Tell us in the comments.