A couple weeks ago (my turnaround time on blog posts lately have been atrocious), I promised ‘more to come’ at the end of a post about Lasik and how that surgery seemed to be the first falling domino is a series of events that led to some serious introspection and soul-searching.
Welp, I wish I didn’t promise that.
I don’t quite have a full thought yet to share, so I’ll just do a collection of bits I’ve saved into my phone and call them advice.
Don’t Do Thing You Don’t Want to Do
I tried writing a blog post comparing Blue Apron to Hello Fresh, but I am having a really hard time getting through it. I genuinely don’t want to write it.
Why I want to write it is because it’s a topic people actually ask me about, which makes me think people would want to read about it. And I have some pretty decent pictures to accompany it. But I’m not passionate about it. I liked some things and didn’t like some things. It’s been weeks already and I kind of forget what exactly I think about either of them.
So rather than forcing myself to finish it for the sake of finishing it, I’m just not doing it. If you know me, you know that saying no and letting people down is really difficult for me. Even just not writing a blog post I think could be good is cutting me a bit. But you know what, no.
I also said no to a long weekend trip recently that was pretty difficult for me to reject, but it just wasn’t something I wanted to try to swing. But I’m proud of myself for saying no!
My next bit of advice, though, counterbalances that a bit. Saying no is awesome, until you’re sitting around in your house alone with nothing to do.
Know Thy Self
Where I work now has a work from home policy, and I did it took advantage of it right after my breakup. It was awesome. I sat unshowered and didn’t have to smile to people. I didn’t have to talk about my personal life. I could cry if I wanted to. But by the end of the day, I was emotionally drained. I was so lonely. I went to a meeting I didn’t need to go to just to be around people.
I still work from home a bit, but typically only do it in half day increments. I know I need human interaction to feel happy, and even though people find it comical that I ration my alone time, I know that’s what I need. So that’s what I do.
Be Honest and A bit Vulnerable
Right after my breakup, I texted my girl friends and told them explicitly that I wanted plans because I knew I’d be lonely. It felt like I was standing in front of a class naked having to be that directly honest and vulnerable, but the reward was that my friends went out of their way to include me and invite me to dinner, drinks and volunteering. It was a beautiful reminder that I am anything but alone in this adventure of life.
I don’t like being vulnerable. I like feeling in control of what people perceive of me, but the more you expose yourself, your needs and give people a chance to support you, the more people rise.
And for possibly my best advice of the century….
In my notes section, I scribbled what I thought was the MOST HILARIOUS piece of advice.
Get Lasik right before breaking up with your boyfriend. No one can tell if you’re crying or you’re just bad at putting in eye drops!
Another related reminder, it’s okay to cry. It’s hard to be happy if you don’t let yourself feel sad sometimes.
…I think I was more profound at 23 than I am at 28.