"Hello, my name is Cazey, and I am on Tinder."
Nine months ago, I would have been embarrassed to admit that, but then you write a blog, and your life becomes a series of self-selected exploitations. Also, dating app stories make for good blog posts. So here's my full confession: I have downloaded up to five dating apps on my phone at once. Bagel Meets Coffee emails me on the reg that I have been active FIFTY-FOUR DAYS IN A ROW, so I get a free "Bagel." What is my life?
I'll tell you what it is: I am a normal twenty-something with an iPhone, curious to see how others judge my physique and aesthetic and occasionally entertaining the idea of meeting up with someone (but would I ever?).
Recently, on Tinder, I came across a fitness instructor whose class I frequent. I won't tell you which way I swiped lest they read this, but the point is, they similarly came across me - and then proceeded to tell me about it.
"My friends made me get it," she gushed. "It's so bad."
But is it? Why are we so embarrassed to admit that we use dating apps? It is 2015. No one expects us to meet local singles at book clubs anymore. (Where do you even go to attend book clubs?) We don't know how to meet strangers without technology's guidance - and better yet, this outlet allows us to screenshot booty calls that we can mass text to our best friends!
A while ago, I uncovered that a friend of mine used Tinder - yet loathe was she to 'fess up. Oh, did you really meet code name Tim Dern at the dog park? With your nonexistent dog?
We should just admit that one night we were horny and downloaded the app! Prostitutes are so last century. And expensive.
Just kidding. I didn't mean to challenge your purity there. Put your ring back on. But we should at least admit we're all narcissists and want to see how many matches we can ba(n)g. (Okay, I'll stop with the innuendos . . . .)
But seriously. We millennials are innate judgers. What better way to pass the night than shuffling through potential paramours? Why do we hide that at some point, probably while single, we have peeked onto Tinder, Hinge, OkCupid, etc.? I have been in rooms where even married couples want in.
And there's never harm in looking - or receiving attention - or maybe responding to their message/casting a fishing line to the cute blonde? (This doesn't apply to aforementioned married couples - back up!)
I posed this question to some friends and received invariably these two explanations: "It's gross" and "Because it's a last resort." On the former, I have seen some of the more salacious messages that my female friends receive, and yeah, I hear you. But you are not necessarily engaging with those creepers aka the entire app is not gross (though Tinder could change the font and color scheme it uses . . . ). And on the latter, yes, if we're holding onto that purity ring view of how we're going to meet our future spouse. But I gave up on meeting her in a cafe in Paris during a spring rainstorm - or at least I won't be in Paris for a couple of years, so Tinder kills the time for now.
As I theorized in a past post, we humans are not so evolved that we don't have the weakness where we crave human connection (and touch). Tinder and the like provide us that opportunity. It doesn't mean we're taking it, but we're definitely window shopping. And we should as long as we're twenty-somethings with data plans and hours to kill because Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.
So let's stop being embarrassed that we've swiped right or left once or twice. The real embarrassment is when you actually meet someone off of a dating app (which I've done, dagnabbit!).