As Told Over Brunch

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Last Sunday Was Weird.

When I go to the grocery store, I buy basically the same list every time:

  • Oatmeal
  • Yogurt
  • Chicken breasts
  • Veggies for either a side or salad
  • A few emergency frozen meals
  • Toiletries and cleaning supplies, as needed

As I was wandering around the grocery store, in a total haze from some weird fall bout of allergies (I could tell it wasn't a cold because my eyes were severely affected), I decided enough was enough. I was in a crisis.

Has monotony ever just crushed your spirit?

I eat yogurt and oatmeal EVERY DAY, and I don't even like them that much. Real talk: I don't like them at all, but #health. 

Next thing I know, I've got on-sale tapioca pudding in my hand. I don't really know what tapioca pudding is, and for some reason the only thing I could fathom doing to solve that is to buy it and eat it.

Into the carrier it goes.

Then I find myself in front of some dumplings in the frozen aisle. Normal splurge Sara would buy one. I got three boxes. Why? Still can't tell you.

I then really wanted a sandwich. I went to the bread aisle to get bread, an essential ingredient to sandwiches, and I started sulking. I really wanted croissants. So I go to the fresh bakery and pick out a four pack of quickly expiring croissants, and buy them against my better judgement. I also really wanted free cheese samples, but there was a woman working behind the stall, and speaking to a human seemed too difficult.

As I found myself reorganizing my little carrier so I can shove in some pumpkin ice cream with a graham cracker swirl, and old man takes a hard B-line at me and tells me: "You need to stop shopping." The he nods at me knowingly.

I'm pretty sure he was my conscience.

In true form, I don't listen to Mr. Conscience and I'm in the cake aisle, quickly picking out not one, but two, boxes of cake mix. Chocolate and carrot cake, don't know when I plan to make them. Or how, since I don't own a cake pan.

I meet Mr. Conscience in the cereal aisle, as I'm contemplating buying cereal. The logic here is screwy anyways, as I DON'T EVEN LIKE CEREAL. I haven't had cereal since 7th grade, but I thought, I never have liked oatmeal, but eat it every day and have grown to tolerate it. Why not cereal too?

Then Mr. Conscience comes over to me again and tells me again it's time to stop shopping. I put the cereal back (Reeses Puffs, because I'm an adult) and head to the cash register, finally listening to Mr. Conscience. I've ended with 2 cake mixes, ice cream, chunky pudding, 5 chocolate yogurts, 4 croissants, turkey, 3 boxes of dumplings and pizza boats (for old times sake).  

Sometimes I adult and sometimes I don't. Today was a major don't. 

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