The Solution to My Overly Frugal Fashion Problems

I won $100 at work, but they couldn't hand me cash for tax purposes, so I got a $50 gift card to H&M and a $50 to Target. That way, I would force myself into buying clothes, but I could also be practical at Target. I legitimately laid in bed one day on the Target website and brainstormed what I'd like to buy. I decided on tampons, a hamper and mouthwash. Let's just breeze over the fact that it took me hours of thinking to decide on those three items and move on to an even bigger problem.

I had $50 to H&M. That gift card was almost guaranteed to spend itself. Until it didn't. I picked out a bright pink top (trying to expand my colors in my wardrobe), a flowy summer top (it was on sale for $2) and a blue sweater that sat like a tent on my body but had tigers on it (because it had tigers on it, duh). It cost me $25 total. 

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Tis the season: Sweater Weather

As the roommates and I went for a brisk walk last night, we took in what would be the final walk of the summer. And while typically I'd feel upset about the end of summer, this year, I can't but only be a little sad to see the summer sun set. Because autumn is officially here. A time for jeans, plaid (is plaid still a thing, I hope so because I love it), boots, sweaters, scarves and hats. Well, not so much hats because I'm not a hat person, but I like the idea of being able to wear a hat.

I have a special place in my heart for New England falls, but last year's Richmond fall was equally wonderful. And with the plethora of fall-themed activities I have in mind, this autumn will be sure to top it all. Pumpkin flavored everything, carving pumpkins, picking pumpkins, taking pictures next to pumpkins, and thinking about pumpkins only comes second to apple picking, cider drinking and perfect fall weather walks. And changing leaves. And falling leaves. And the scent of fall. There's really nothing better.

Plus, the perfect fall weather means that you don't have to worry about your toes looking good all the time, a headband is an easy way to make your hair look presentable, and if you gain a few extra pounds, who cares? No one is seeing you in a bathing suit anymore.

So if none of that made any sense, I get it. I'm so excited for fall that it's almost impossible to prioritize which reasons are most important.

I hope you all share in my enthusiasm, dive your feet into your boots and enjoy the perfect temperate weather.

Nothin' like boot season.

One Size Fits All, Except Me

During my lunch break today, I went over to Party City to get a flapper costume. There were two different options, which was ideal, as my roommate needed one too, so I bought both of them. One was red and marked "one size fits all" and the other was black and marked "large." I neglected the gym to run them home to show my roommate before she headed out for work. We decided that we would each try them on and then pick whichever seemed to fit each person more appropriately. Since she is working, I was the guinea pig for trying them on. I put on the black "large" one first. It fit really well and was long enough that I didn't feel like a total slut. Then I put the red one on.

Let me take a pause here to elaborate on my body type. Full disclosure:

I'm five-six and a size eight.

I'm not a stick, nor would I even say I'm skinny, but I wouldn't say I'm fat either. Yeah, you can tell I eat candy on the reg and, as I already admitted in this post, I am pretty good at making excuses to not go to the gym. But I am by no means a beluga whale.

Now back to the dress. Me and my still-carrying-some-baby-fat-at-22 body got pretty excited to try on the red dress after the general success of the black one. I throw it over my head, and notice it's getting stuck a bit more. I pull it all the way on, and have the pleasure of getting to tug at it to make it sit right. It's shorter and tighter than the same dress in black labeled "large."

Well, shit. How good does that make me feel that a dress proclaiming that it fits ALL is nice and snug on me? On one hand, I'm like "whatevs I guess that costume company is just like Abercrombie and are assholes that exclude fat people," but then on the other hand I'm like, "I'm not actually fat, so why are they marketing this as fitting everyone, when clearly it's not going to?" And then if I had a third hand (so I guess maybe my foot), I'm like, "well, maybe I could hit the gym a bit more, and maybe I do need to lose a bit of chub."

While I try not to let weight-issues bother me, I did used to be a baby meatball and have always had body conscious issues. Little reminders like this always sort of suck. While I'm going to still wear the dress, and going to rock the shit out of it, there'll always be a bit of extra smug snugness there to remind me that everyone apparently is skinnier than me.

On Taking Advice

A few weeks ago, someone was talking about using StumbleUpon, and I was like, "OMG that's not even a thing anymore!" Seriously, hadn't been on that website in years, and I have long since thought it gave way to Buzzfeed, Reddit, and Mashable. So naturally, I dug out my old password and got back into stumbling just to see if it still enthralled me like it used it. I can't possibly conceive wasting the amount of time I used to on the site, but it was still fun and entertaining. This one article from it stuck with me above all the rest, "45 Life Lessons, written by a 90 year old."

I can't say I take advice very well. People tell me things and I consider it, and then do whatever I feel like anyways. However, I love reading advice and seeing if any of it matches up with things I already think about or were planning on doing. So, when I stumbled upon the article with 45 pieces of advice, it seems natural to ignore 44 of them and listen to one:

"Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple."

This is my favorite piece of advice from the list because sometimes I imagine being old and getting away with everything. No one gets mad when old people say mean things because they grew up in a different time or they don't know what that means in this day and age. Old people can wear whatever they want and NO ONE SAYS SHIT TO THEM. I'd love to be old, except for all the health issues and the whole being closer to death thing.

So any advice that tells me that you can embody the old person eccentricities without being old, I'm all in. Out of all the advice from that list, I probably picked the worst one to follow. Here's how I applied it in real life:

Yellow Pants

No one would suggest this as a work outfit, except that old lady that said I am allowed to be eccentric. And you know what I have to say?


No one else likes this outfit. There's glitter, sheer, boots, yellow, Ray Bans, a cardigan. Total confusion, but you know what? There's no point in waiting until you're old to be who you are.