I think we've probably already safely established that I was an odd kid. I once wrote about how wonky my sleeping abilities were, but I left out one liiiiiiiitle detail. It was a recurring nightmare that only happened when I was awake. I'd think about before bed regularly, as there's no better time for a little girl to contemplate her existentialism than late at night when she should be sleeping.
I was raised a catholic, and could get down with the whole hanging out with Jesus afterlife plan. It sounds like a great thing to do after you've exhausted this life. Dying (not that I want to do it anytime soon) didn't seem that bad, as it's just a door to another life. But I couldn't quite wrap my head around the whole eternity ordeal. Forever is a very, very long time. Sometimes, I'd envision it as my body being a little spaceship rushing around the stairs forever. Sometimes, a little horse on a carousel going around and around ceaselessly.
Any way I pictured it, my stomach was highly unsettled. None of them seemed like something I wanted to do. Even if eternity is a more perfect version of this world, I still couldn't handle the thought of forever. It's just so incomprehensible and unknown. To this day, forever still gives me anxiety when I contemplate it. So I just usually don't.Read More