By Cazey Williams
As I've discussed in a previous blog, I am on several dating apps - but I don't do anything on them. Sure, I match with people and have the occasional discourse, but I have no intention of asking anyone out barring extraordinary circumstances like I don't have homework that week. (Maybe over winter break then?)
Since I recognize this in myself, I have told myself to stop matching with people because it gives false hope to the ladies - but then I don't stop because what else do I do while eating lunch out of Tupperware? Yet I never thought it was to my detriment until last weekend.
The scene: Happy hour at a classy museum. My friend invited me along with several of her friends. I meet "Lisa" who's nice and all that, but as unmemorable as her dating profile because I don't recognize her.
A cider in, I ask Lisa what she does. She squints her eyes when she responds: She's in pre-something school, but she wants to be a doctor, a specific kind of doctor - and it hits me, I've had this conversation before. Ten days ago. With the same exact person.
"I think I need a glass of wine," I announce.
In line to order, I check my recent Bagel Meets Coffee chats, and yup, there she is. Hey, Lisa.
FML. FML. FML.
Now acutely aware that Lisa is my failed-to-launch dating app match - and I'm pretty sure she's known it the whole time - I spend the rest of the evening gulping from my wineglass and SnapChatting/texting my best friends. Meanwhile, Lisa talks with my friend about some guy she had just gone on a date with. A phone is passed around with a picture of the guy.
I glance at the screen and pass it like a hot potato. I mean, it really wasn't that awkward. Maybe she didn't realize (oh, but she did). But this was a great example of why I should stop futilely swiping right on people and even engaging in conversation.
Lisa decided to leave before dinner. She waved goodbye to the group. We made no eye contact, but I ad-libbed, "Nice to meet you."
My friend turned to me. "You're flushed."
"Oh, you know . . . the wine."