My Beef with Headwear

Here's my beef with headwear: I wish I could be one of those people that can jazz up an outfit with headwear, but I always end up looking like I am dressing up for Halloween. So I guess it's one of those "it's not you, it's me" kind of things, but I'd still like to take it up with headwear because it's really not fair how stupid it makes me look. The first time I began to realize that headwear wasn't for me (excluding that time I bought a bucket hat for myself in third grade) was a few summers ago. I had been working outside all day in the heat and then went to grab dinner with some friends. My hair looked like a matted wildebeest, so I threw on a cute baseball cap and went on my merry way.

When I arrived to the restaurant, I got out of the car and my friend immediately pulled the hat off my head and THREW IT ON TOP OF A MOVING CAR. He then simply said, "hats aren't your thing and I'm helping you". Then he proceeded to walk into the restaurant without giving a second thought to the fact that he literally just threw away my only hat.

It has taken several years to overcome the scarring from that day, but I have recently tried new headwear. Since I must be honest with myself, I also agree that hats may not be my thing, so instead I have been testing out headbands.

I got two cute headbands from Urban Outfitters, and was pretty stoked to try them out. So, we went to a bar opening and I decided to wear one. The bar sucked, and I was playing with the light up table by myself until some kid came over to talk to me. His opening was, "that headband caught my eye" and I am thinking this conversation won't suck.

Then it takes a turn for the unexpected. He goes, "You look somewhat reminiscent of Axel Rose."


Not only did he suggest I look like an old male musician, but a skeezy rocker. Like tell me I look like Elton John. He's got taste. Or even Bruce Springsteen. He's just a badass that can totally rock a headband.

Despite being struck down several times, I intend to keep trying. This isn't over, headwear. I'm coming for you.