Awkward Gym Encounters

This morning I’ve finished doing leg lifts on a dip machine and am about to do some decline crunches when this dude approaches me: “Hey, man, can you spot me?” He smells of sour cream and onion BO.

Points of information: I don’t know this man, he reeks, and I am not comfortable spotting people. I am also wearing headphones, which is like wearing an invisibility cloak: Don’t disrupt someone with headphones. So why are you asking me, dude? Do I look like a for-hire spotter?

However, I acquiesce. It’s more awkward to say “No, I can’t” than to feign spotting (unless I end up allowing the barbell to crush his sternum; that could be way more awkward).

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What happens in my head when I forget headphones

I typically have three sets of headphones in my work bag. Why? Great question, I don't know either. But somehow none of them were in my bag today, and I was left headphone-less for an entire day at work. Here's exactly what happened in my head throughout the day:

It won't be THAT bad, right? I've forgotten my glasses before and found ways around that (scrolled in so close an old man with glaucoma could read), so I can handle it...yes.

Yes, I can do this. Here we go on our unintentional day of silence.

Phew, it sure is quiet.

Is that me typing so loud? Crap, I sound angry. People probably think I'm mad. Lighter on the keys, girl. Get yourself together.

Oh my gosh, people can actually probably hear me sighing all the time! They're going to think I'm fatigued. Well, I am so that's not that bad...

Wow, it's really quiet. I can't get over how quiet it is. I wonder what people think about all day that don't have music on usually.

Jeez, someone's breathing really loud. No wait -- that's just me again. I clearly have no cubicle decorum.


Let me go check. No wait, I'll wait to lunch. Get yourself together, you can do this.

Everyone else sits in silence all day, you can do this.

Phew silence is pretty silent. It's making me tired. I need more coffee. Is three cups of black coffee bad? No, I've read about it and it's not.

Okay, I will definitely get my headphones. This is making me stir crazy. Maybe I can play it really softly and no one will hear it.

Yup, definitely playing it out loud. And it's really loud. I need those headphones.

I don't know how people do this all the time. Screw it...going to get my headphones. I don't need to prove that I can do this to myself. Someone invented headphones for a reason.

Bye silence. Until next time. Oh wait, no-- I hope there isn't a next time.