Don't Touch: Millennials and Their F***ing Hugging

Do you remember back in elementary school when everyone had cooties? Girls and boys didn’t touch lest a flesh-eating infection devour us all. Mind you, this was a particularly heteronormative affliction, but that’s beside the point. At least it gave us an excuse not to touch each other. And I hate touching.

My mom calls it being “tactilely defensive.” She’s an occupational therapist.

Symptom 1: I avoid touch stimulation. Growing up, I refused to wear sweatpants because of the material on my skin.

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The Cuddle Factory

Last week a new business opened in Richmond, VA. While at a birthday dinner, someone brought up Cuddle RVA, which I promptly renamed the Cuddle Factory. The Cuddle Factory is . . . I can't even put it into words. They offer cuddle services. Like, they will hold you and hug you for money.

Me: So basically they're a massage parlor or on-site escort service. Within the law's boundaries, of course.

Of course I had to try this place out. I'll do anything for a story. Except just kidding. No, I am not doling out $60/hour to be cradled by a stranger; we have Tinder for that. And I actually hate being touched. Here's Sara trying to hug me back in 2013.

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