A Cumulative List of Times I was a Christmas Troll
There's no time like the holidays to troll your family. One time for my mother's birthday, her only directive was, "Don't get ice cream cake." Naturally, we took that to mean, "It'll be really funny to get her an ice cream cake."
So, like any reasonable family, we bought my mom two cakes, an ice cream cake and then a secret chocolate cake. We brought out the ice cream cake, ecstatic about the deceit. Then we all giggled as her face fell.
Once we let her wholly believe we selfishly got the ice cream cake we all wanted, we brought out the one she really wanted. Gotcha!
Here's a few times I was a Christmas Troll:
My sister is a bit on the straight-laced side, so I got her a flask and a beer bong, knowing she'd have to pull it out of the bag in front of my parents. She hesitated and tried to shove it back in the bag as soon as she realized what it was, but I exclaimed, "What's in there, Louanne? Come on, show us!" while cackling.
My dad kept receiving cashmere sweaters, and let's just say, he's not the cashmere sweater-wearing type. I stole one (tags still on) from his closet, rewrapped it and stuck it under the tree. When he opened it, I could read exactly what his eyes said, Why did you waste my money (this was back in the day when we spent my parent's money on my parent's gifts) on another damn sweater?
Here's what trolly presents I devised this year.
My mom left a framed picture at my house last time she was here, so I wrapped that sucker up for her and brought it home. Unfortunately, she figured out what it was before she opened it (it's hard to troll someone that clever).
But the real troll-of-the-year is what I got my sister. Every time I talk to my sister, she ends the conversation with, "Sorry I have to go, I'm running into Harris Teeter."
I was pre-giggling when she started to open the gift. Carefully, she pulled out the reusable Harris Teeter bag, and I encouraged, "What's in there?!"
Her face barely changed, and sighed, "Well, this is embarrassing," before showing our entire family her signed, personalized head shot of Harry the dragon, thanking her for her daily patronage to Harris Teeter.
Like any good sister would do, I had written to the company and asked for a signed head shot of anyone in the company, thanking my sister for her commitment to their store. Bobby, a customer service angel, was able to hook me up, and made Christmas dreams come true (my dreams, but it counts).
Thank you Harris Teeter for your customer service! It made us all laugh, and without a doubt loyal customer Louanne will be back in the store once she's back in Charlotte.
Happy Holidays to all of our readers! We appreciate your support and reading along with us, sharing in our stories.
Update: My sister actually likes this gift and proudly displays it in her kitchen year-round!