I can't say I'm particularly good at dating. I typically pick guys based off of very limited details, then sit through a dinner or round of drinks wondering why I set myself up for them. On the rare occasions that I actually pick a good one, it's then my turn to be the date-ruiner. Now for a self-deprecating example:
There was this one time I forgot I said yes to dinner with a guy from Coffee Meets Bagel, which is a classier Tinder, and went to a work happy hour. I remembered after three or four $2 beers that I had a date, so I showed up heavily buzzed / probably drunk to dinner. He was the sweetest little (I do really mean little) Southern guy who told me he "traveled into the city just for me." Well, dang. No pressure there.
Again, I was already pretty intoxicated, but he wanted a beer, so of course I ordered another so he didn't have to drink alone. He was pretty quiet, so I filled 100% of the silence with mindless chatter about myself until the food FINALLY showed up. Hungry, drunk me ate it within a few seconds, taking a break only to tell him about how much I just loved feta cheese.
I'm shocked this guy never talked to me again. Wait -- no, I'm not.
But sometimes I'm not the one ruining the dates. Sometimes it's the gems I say yes to that do it for me. Here are six of the dumbest things guys have said me on dates collected over the past few month.
- "You're not one of those feminists, are you?" I responded with, "Do you mean a women who believes she is an equal, because we are, and should be treated that way?" That was our first and only date.
- "Can I take a picture of you?" I thought he was joking, but he really wanted one to prove to his coworkers that someone actually went out with him. He went home without a picture or a second date.
- "Our waitress is really cute, isn't she? I mean I shouldn't tell you that, but you probably notice too. She has cute little dimples and an adorable lisp." I hadn't noticed, but she was cute. He didn't find it funny when I told him he should tell her that and ask her to grab a drink next time.
- "Yeah, all girls on Tinder are gross." He then proceeded to take his phone out and swipe through to show me. Then he stopped on one and said she "wasn't bad" and attempted to match with her. After I told him he was being weird (yes, I legitimately told him that), he asked what he could do differently to his profile. I'm happy he used our time together for a bit of market research, and I hope it helped for future dates that were not ever going to be with me.
- "Did you know that women in other countries have 1/3 less periods than women in America?" I didn't. I also didn't plan on talking about women's periods with him. I also didn't particularly enjoy how this turned into a starting point for our next conversation, which was about my cycle. I am SO HAPPY this guy doesn't find periods taboo and seemed to not be grossed out, but at the same time he learned about the first time I had period, the type of birth control I was on, and even attempted to learn how much I bleed (is that something I'm supposed to know?) before he even knew whether or not I went to college.
- "You wouldn't have gotten in there obviously, no offense." Perhaps. But perhaps you could avoid saying that the fist time we meet, because I do find you questioning my intelligence very offensive, no offense.
And an honorable mention to this guy, which doesn't quite qualify as a date, but deserves at least a nod.
What's the worst thing a date has said to you, or what's the worst thing you've said to someone on a date? Share in the comments :)