The curse of an iPhone is its limited battery life. I usually bring my charger with me, but today I forgot it. Sob. I started the day at 8:11 AM at 100%. It's 1:55 PM, and I'm at 33%. What am I going to do?
These are my thoughts (imagine the Law & Order: SVU dun dun dun):
1:56 PM. This isn't so bad. I have my laptop. I can make it until 5 without using my phone.
1:57 PM. How do I Snapchat anyone? And my phone keeps telling me people are Snapchatting me; I want to see!
1:58 PM. 32%. Okay, I won't check Snapchat.
2:01 PM. Someone retweeted me. I can address that through my laptop.
2:04 PM. Checks battery life/time/any new notifications?
2:10 PM. I really want to post that photo I took on my coffee walk earlier. Too bad you can't post to Instagram through your laptop.
2:12 PM. G-chatting my friend my predicament. "Do you have any open apps you can close?" Yes, already done.
2:38 PM. 31%.
2:55 PM. I went to the restroom and obviously I needed to take my phone, or else how would I calm my anxious bladder? Subsequently I checked Instagram and Snapchat on 3G. I watched the 29% drop to 28%.
3:02 PM. I hope no one calls me. 27%.
3:14 PM. My friend is Snapping me pics of West Palm Beach. Meanwhile, I'm at 24% - lower than the temperature outside (29 degrees).
3:15 PM. I have to walk home, too.
3:17 PM. 23%. I didn't even touch my phone in those two minutes!
3:20 PM. An aside from the phone: I just picked up my water cup and chugged only to realize it's iced coffee, and blegh! I gagged.
3:32 PM. I have to text my friend about Venetian masks on Etsy. We're going to a masquerade ball in T-3 weeks, so ordering soon is imperative. 22%.
3:34 PM. Checks Snapchat and Instagram. No new likes or Snaps. Sigh. And I wasted one percent of my battery. I should get back to work.
3:40 PM. We chose the masks. Silver filigrees! We’re going be the hottest masked couple there ever was.
3:45 PM. Youtube suggested Jessica Lange's "The Name Game" - I have to Snap that to my American Horror Story friends! F-CK. iPhone tells me: Low Battery: 20% of Battery Remaining. Dismiss!
3:47 PM. I dim the backlight.
3:50 PM. 19%. Ugh. I imagine I look like a terminal 81-year-old staring at their respirator.
4:01 PM. 18%. No doubt my phone will die on the walk home. And I have to walk through downtown Richmond, and I have dinner plans at 6. This is a crapshoot. I also want to check my Bumble, but I'm resisting.
4:21 PM. Had to pee again. No Internet connection in restroom stall. 16%. Dun dun dun.
4:23 PM. I send out farewell messages: "Fyi my phone is about to die and won't be on again until like 5:40 maybe when I get home to my dhar ger."
4:24 PM. "Charger *"
4:34 PM. Still at 16%. Check my Notes to memorize my to-do list when I get home, assuming my phone will be dead.
4:56 PM. 16% still. I leave my office.
4:58 PM. 12%. Playing Spotify really killed the battery.
5:01 PM. 12%.
5:03 PM. Low Battery: 10% of Battery Remaining.
5:04 PM. 8%. I have 30 minutes walking left.
5:05 PM. Should I call my mom?
5:10 PM. 7%. I should stop skipping songs.
5:11 PM. 5%. Wow, that was fast. I check Instagram and Snapchat.
5:13 PM. 4%. Here we go.
5:15 PM. How are we still at 4%?
5:17 PM. 3%. This almost feels victorious. I check twice to make sure all my apps are closed.
5:19 PM. Why isn’t it dying faster?!
5:20 PM. When I get home, I need to immediately put my phone on the charger and then pee and then unpack my lunchbox and then … wait, let me check my Notes app.
5:23 PM. 2%.
5:24 PM. 1%!!!!!!
5:24:31 PM. How long can we last here?!
5:24:59. HOW ARE WE STILL ALIVE?
5:26 PM. What is this witchcraft?
5:28 PM. ….. Still here. Almost home.
5:30 PM. —————————
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