Disclaimer: Sorry in advance for offending you, Britney Spears, I did it with love. Naturally when my sister's group of friends decided to dress up as different Britney Spears throughout the ages, someone HAD to be Breakdown Britney of 2007. Since I am not actually in the group of friends, somehow I took it upon myself to be bald Brit.
I must say, being dressed in workout clothes as a costume was a plus, but being bald was pretty hard. Here are some of the more memorable moments of my time as a bald pop star:
- "She must be the one in the group with a boyfriend." Obviously no one single would ever volunteer to go out on the town looking like this (except for me, apparently):
- "You really have a lot of courage coming out today as a bald person." I would take this as a compliment, but it seems somewhat offensive. I know bald people that leave their house everyday and no one tells them how confident they must be.
- From across the room, I hear someone meeting all the other Britney's and they go, "THERE MUST BE A BREAKDOWN ONE IN HERE." Yes, yes, thank you for the enthusiasm.
- Drinks were accepted in appreciation of this costume. My advice that attaches to this one is: the weirder you look, the more attention you get, which, even when you're not looking good, might have positive results.
- One of the most puzzling things I came to realize is that even without hair, guys still talked to me. Take that for what you will.
- My head was scratchy with the stocking on all day, so it was pretty encouraging to know that perfect strangers were willing to scratch it for me, upon request.
- One of the biggest lessons I learned: being bald might qualify you to go cut the men's bathroom line, even if it is just because everyone is staring at you.
- The best part might have actually been nearer the end of the night, when the stocking fell out and I had given up on being bald, and NO ONE recognized me. It's like my hair made me a whole new woman.
So, this coming Thursday, go confidently in whatever Halloween outfit you might be wearing and enjoy it! Even if you look absurd, people will still appreciate you taking one for the team for a group of friends that are not even yours.