I'm Not Impressed With Your Netflix

It's all the new rage in dating. Apparently all the guys will offer it. And I'm only assuming they offer it because girls agree to it. 

Rather than offering to take me to dinner, drinks, coffee, a walk, a hike, a kayaking adventure, a theme park, a play, a concert, a sporting event, a museum, a beach or any of the seemingly endless other fun opportunities that this world has graced us with, guys these days like to seduce women with their Netflix account. 

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American Horror Story: The Netflix Betrayals

Previously I discussed the twenty-something epidemic, The Netflix Binge. Today I will narrate a nasty side effect: The Netflix Betrayal.

I am not the first to write on the potential pitfall of agreeing to watch a Netflix show with your friends. You think you'll bond - you'll have more inside jokes to reference - but occasionally strife strikes. Here is my tale:

My friend invited me to watch the premiere of the current season of American Horror Story. Afterward, I couldn't bear to wait seven days for episode two (did you see the killer clown?! I needed to know his story!). My friend suggested we watch the past seasons in the meantime. We watched the second season in a week. I'm proud to say (maybe embarrassed, too), I was so into AHS that I convinced my out-of-town weekend guests to watch the show while we pregamed the bars. However, this sets the stage for the betrayals: My out-of-town friend left my laptop signed into her Netflix account....

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The Netflix Binge

The Netflix binge is a millennial epidemic. It strikes post-brunch - if you even make it out the door for brunch - or one evening while you and your friend(s) debate what you can do that doesn't involve tipping a bartender. Or you're already laying by the TV waiting for Domino's cheesy bread to be delivered. You spend thirty minutes scrolling through the buffet of options ("I haven't even heard of that" or "Go back, what's that about?") until you both squeal at some show you've wanted to see - or maybe they've seen an episode already, but let's now embark on this together.

You're only past the opening credits when the cheesy bread arrives. And once you eat the cheesy bread, you either rewind or pause to catch up because neither of you knows what's going on.

You will stay on that couch for the next two to 24 hours. When you break, it is because one of you has to go to work or a family emergency arises. Sleep is never cited. And before you part, you sign on the dotted line that you will pick the show back up in nine hours once you're both home again.

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